The women getting guys to rate their nudes on Reddit
I don’t need to explain to you that nudes are a generally private affair. I sometimes think of my collection built up over the years, just sitting up there in The Cloud, waiting to get hacked and ruin my life. Or the ones potentially still on phones of people I really wish they weren’t, you know, people who might sell them to The Sun if I ever become a celeb or, like, Prime Minister. Perhaps, this has got you thinking about all of yours up there too. Well, now imagine posting them online for strangers to rate out of ten – by choice. Because that’s what happens on the subreddit r/RateMyNudeBody.
Confused? Horrified? I get it, I’d have thought this would be most people’s worst nightmare. But scroll down the group and you’ll see post after post of people – mainly women – posting captions like “Rate my body please (f),” “19 (f) honesty/advice appreciated,” and “What are your thoughts on me? (f),” alongside a naked photo. Granted, most faces are covered but it just takes one person to recognise you, surely? Some people even include their height and weight on there – “22 (f) 5’0 92 lb” – which I can’t say I’m a fan of. It’s not all women, but men’s posts get a lot less traction – generally zero to two comments, compared to the usual 60 or few hundred for women.
I spoke to four women who post on this group to attempt to figure out: just why? Their stories unveil the highs of approval and kinky fun, but also the crashing lows that caused one woman’s life to spiral out of control – from becoming a daily poster to the time she was actually recognised by school friends. Through these conversations, it’s clear that validation is one of the main drivers, and an interview with a male user sheds light on the commenting side, too.
So, what’s this all about? The community bio says it’s a place for getting an honest opinion and rating, with a big focus on refraining from insults and being rude. In a post pinned to the top of the group, it reads “NO ERECTIONS ALLOWED,” and suggests those inclined head to, um, r/RateMyCock instead. Other guidelines stress that the content isn’t allowed to be “overly sexy” – and it’s true, often they’re quite functional mirror selfies – and there’s rules stating no playing with yourself or even showing sex toys. But is it possible to make a place like this not, well, horny?
For 33-year-old Molly* from Michigan, the horniness is all part of the fun. “I mainly use Reddit when I’m horny and seeking attention or validation,” she tells me. “I found this group when I was looking for subreddits to share nudes on, years ago. The first time I posted I was nervous, but nowadays I’m very comfortable with sharing my nudity – I do it out of habit and boredom.”
Molly, a graphic designer, likes that this group isn’t as filled with women promoting their OnlyFans accounts as other nude pages on Reddit. The rating system isn’t that important to her, but she finds herself drawn to her lower ratings. “I often reach out to users and find out what they didn’t like. I like the challenge of getting them to increase their score, it’s a lot of fun,” she says. “They usually don’t change their minds, even if I send them more photos, but that doesn’t bother me. It only sucks when I’m told that they don’t get hard from my pics – getting men hard is, like, a hobby of mine.”
The more I scroll, though, the less sexual I actually find the group. “New mom working on my confidence and positive body image!” posts one user. “Is my body bad?” says another. Getting a self-esteem boost seems to be one of the biggest drivers for women, including Anya*, a 28-year-old student from Klaipėda, Lithuania.
“I didn’t get involved because I thought it was sexual, I was mostly curious,” she tells me. “I posted because I suffer from pretty poor self-image. Two years ago, I was dealing with an eating disorder and weighed about 30kg less than I do now, so my assessment of what I look like is distorted.” Although it seems unlikely, Anya assures me that the group doesn’t trigger her, and that she isn’t actually a regular user anyway. In fact, she found relief in her comments – the few compliments gave her a real confidence boost.
Anya is transgender and has spent the last seven years on hormones. “I’ve never had someone to tell me anything about my body. I’ve never had a partner or fling, even before I started my transition,” she says, noting that she took her first ever nude for this group. “I don’t have regrets, it showed me that I’m not so unattractive to some people.”
Unfortunately, the ratings of Melissa Miele, a 35-year-old lawyer from Chetumal, Mexico, leave less to be desired. “4/10, no tits but I like the bush” says one user. Another reads: “5/10 this body needs some love. Eating right and exercising a bit will transform you, you look healthy, don’t be lazy and go for some running in the park!” It doesn’t stop her posting, though.
“I’m a realistic woman. I know I’m not beautiful and I don’t have the best body, but I also know that it’s enough for some people,” she tells me. “In everyday life, I don’t get much attention, I’m a bisexual woman who wears masculine clothes and is always ignored. That’s why I look for attention online, sometimes I need male approval.”
Miele has uploaded naked photos to various sites from the age of 24. “Exhibitionism turns me on, and I started to get the attention I always craved,” she adds. “I fulfilled users’ requests and found the whole thing so sensual; I masturbated way too much there.” Back then, Miele was posting nudes online daily, now she uses this group around twice a month. She’s engaged and keeps her activity in the group a secret from her wife-to-be, apparently only because her partner “has radical feminist ideas and hates male attention.”
It feels important to stress that such negative reviews really are in the minority, though. Many of them are sweet or complimentary (sort of), whether the person is conventionally hot or not. “I don’t think you’re fat at all, very athletic build… You look great naked!!!!!!” says one such fella replying to a woman asking if she’s fat – also proving the comments are never far from upholding our painful beauty standards, no matter the intention. On a photo where one young woman has visible thigh scars, the comments are a-flood with men saying things like, “It seems like you’ve made a lot of progress, I’m proud of you,” and, “Please promise no more cutting, you’re beautiful and perfect inside and out.” Plus, “Time heals all and I hope you give yourself that.”
Adrian*, 30, is a sales rep from Birmingham, UK, and he doesn’t actually do honest ratings. “It’s not really people’s fault if they’re not my type, there’s nothing they can do about that,” he tells me. “Someone who’s large and isn’t, shall we say, Hollywood sexy can get a good confidence boost from flattery.” Though he notes, um, “petite and perky for the win.”
Adrian uses the group for its kinky side, mainly. “After all, we all want to see people we find attractive naked and it’s a more personalised thing on Reddit for sure,” he says. “As someone with an extremely high libido, it helps. I probably visit it a few times a week.”
Now the question you’ve been waiting for: Does he wank to the posts on there? Apparently not. “Some might get me hard, but masturbation would typically come from interactions in DMs, discussing kinks and delving into people’s sexuality.” This is the crux of why Adrian uses the group: the hope that an explicit conversation will follow.
Interestingly, almost no women comment with ratings, and Adrian thinks it’s all because the comment history is public and easily viewed on your profile. This makes sense, considering it didn’t take me long to find Adrian’s first Reddit comment, from two years ago, which says: “I’d love to stretch you out.” This was followed shortly by: “I’d gladly go to town on those nipples whilst you ride all my eight inches.”
Adrian sees nude groups on Reddit as a safe way for people to explore their sexuality. “At best, my comment starts a dialogue with both parties turned on and enjoying it, and at worst, it’s a positive comment to someone who genuinely may need a confidence boost,” he adds.
But the “at worst” of this group can be a lot more damaging for the women posting. California-based Emily*, 27, started posting on nude Reddit groups at 24. She was in a sex-less relationship and turned to the group for validation and advice on which photos to send to her boyfriend. She’s white, thin, pretty, and conventionally very attractive – she received great reactions online and her use of the groups spiralled. She soon racked up tens of thousands of followers, enough for her own Reddit page, and started posting bi-weekly and daily at one period.
“I think it made me feel less alone, it started out as a coping mechanism for a broken relationship,” she says. “My favourite aspect was the conversations with people, and it was an outlet that eventually turned creatively fulfilling. As silly as it sounds, just the little amount of photography and caption writing involved really did feel like the creative output I’d been searching for.” She captioned her nudes with jokes, started discussions, vented about life and even wrote poetry.
Soon enough, a business plan formulated for turning it into an OnlyFans, like she saw so frequently from other women on Reddit – though she was torn over this for a long time, believing it would be “exploiting” her fans. “I told myself I’d eventually tell my family when I had lots of money from Only Fans and I could show it changed my life,” she says. “Keeping the truth from them was exhausting.” Emily’s OnlyFans era was short lived, though. Within months, she got doxxed and someone sent all her nude links to her sister on Facebook, which she managed to successfully deny, before deleting her account.
Emily was still making thousands from people she met on Reddit, anyway. Over the three years, three different men financially supported her, covering everything from rent to food. But the emotional toll ended up outweighing those benefits.
People she grew up with started recognising her on Reddit via things like her phone case, and at the end of 2023, her anxiety attacks got so bad that she came clean to her parents. “I needed them to understand the full story,” she says. “I needed to get it off my chest.” In March 2024, she deleted her account for good. “I sort of started losing respect for myself,” Emily continues. “Reddit is freeing and it’s super vulnerable, but I think a lot of women turn to posting nude during times where they feel broken, maybe.”
All the women I spoke to have a search for approval in common. For many, this Reddit group is a substitute for validation offline, a replacement for attention in places like bars or on Instagram. “The validation is definitely similar to flirting and dating apps,” continues Molly. “I’m really lacking validation in my job so it’s nice.” Anya says she has no easy form of validation at all.
Most of us understand that buzz of approval as Instagram likes roll-in or you’re hit on in a bar, but sourcing that addictive hit from something as secretive as this group feels even more dangerous. I’d hoped I wouldn’t be another writer bashing a Reddit group, but the thought of girls as young as 18 and 19 (or younger, seeing as there’s no age verification) getting hooked on validation via this group is harrowing. Then there’s the clear gateway to OnlyFans to think about.
But there is a place for this community. After all, there’s a dark side to most places online. I may be glad to not be scrolling through naked body after body anymore, but one thing I will miss is the reminder of how gloriously different female bodies can be. Most of us have such a blinkered view of what ‘the perfect body’ is, and how imperfect our own is, but this group really reminds you that no two bodies are the same. It’s a bit like that heart-warming feeling you look around in a public swimming pool or dance class, and see women of all different ages and sizes – though I guess these are just a little less high risk.
*Names have been changed for privacy.
